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FORGIVENESS
Lack of forgiveness blocks access to the kingdom and to miracle power. “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you; leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift” (Mathew 5:23-24). “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15). “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? Jesus answered, I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt” (Matthew 18:21-34). As you read this you see this man begged for forgiveness, received it, but refused to forgive another who owed him only a small amount. The result was a complete forsaking of all mercy towards him. “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” (Mark 11:25).
The first person you probably have not forgiven is yourself. More people have a lack of forgiveness toward themselves than toward anybody else. They are unwilling to forgive themselves and to recognize that God says, “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:12). If you are a believer, He has already cleansed your conscience from dead works so that you might serve the living God. God cleanses us (for service) so that we are not left with the guilt of past sin. That should be dead, buried, and forgotten.
People must forgive all who need forgiveness. If the first person you need to forgive is yourself, you need to say, “God, before You, I forgive myself. Whatever I have done, I accept Your forgiveness, and I forgive me.” That’s a very simple but profound statement, because as long as we feel that we are under condemnation, we will never have faith to see miracles.
“If our heart does not condemn us,” the Bible says, “we have confidence toward God” (1 John 3:21). Obviously, we cannot have continuing sin in our lives and expect forgiveness. We have to be free from ongoing conscious sin and rebellion against God. But if we are walking in the light, and walking in forgiveness, then the blood of Jesus Christ is continuously cleansing us from all sin (See 1 John 1:7).
The second person we have to “forgive”, if we have bitterness, is God Himself. There are people who blame God because a child died, because a husband ran away, because they have been sick, because they have not had enough money. Consciously or unconsciously they think all of these things are God’s fault. There is deep-seated resentment; yet you cannot be resentful toward God and experience miracles. You have to rid yourself of any bitterness toward God. That may take some soul-searching. You must ask yourself, Am I blaming God for my situation?
The third person you may have to forgive is a member of your family. Critical words spoken can wound a marriage or relationship. Your words can be used to defeat your loved one or defeat the enemy. Resentment grows out of criticism. You have to get rid of resentment, especially toward those closest to you. The husbands, the wives, the children, and the parents – all must be forgiven when slights and resentments have built up in family situations. Many people say, “Well, I didn’t think that counted. I thought that was just a family matter.” All lack of forgiveness has to be eliminated, especially toward every family member.
Finally, there has to be forgiveness for anybody else who has ever done anything against you. It may be that your resentment is justified. The person may have done a very evil, terrible thing to you. You may have every legal and intellectual right to hold a grudge and to hate that person. But if you want to see miracles in your life, it is absolutely imperative that you forgive.
Forgive them to the point where you actually feel yourself cleansed of resentment and bitterness and are actually praying for them. If you do not, the lack of forgiveness will make it impossible for God to forgive you. Every miracle depends 100 percent on your relationship to God the Father. That relationship is built strictly on the strength of His forgiveness of your sin.
Forgiveness is the key. Other sins can be present, and if your heart condemns you for something else, then of course, you do not have confidence before God. But it is lack of forgiveness that most often comes between people and God.
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TWELVE STEPS TO FORGIVENESS
You may say, “I can’t forgive this person because he hurt me so badly.” Yes, the pain is real. Nobody has really forgiven someone without admitting the hurt and the hatred involved. But until you forgive that person, he will continue to hurt you because you have not released yourself from the past. Forgiveness is the only way to stop the pain.
Here are 12 steps you can use to walk through the process of forgiving someone who has hurt you. Following these steps will help you unchain yourself from the past and get on with your life:
l. Write on a sheet of paper the names of the persons who hurt you. Describe in writing the specific wrongs you suffered: for example, rejection, gossip, lack of love, unfairness, physical, verbal, sexual or emotional abuse, hatred, etc. Ask the Lord to reveal to your mind specifically who you need to forgive from your heart. Some names may come to your mind that surprise you or that you have forgotten.
Of the hundreds of people who have completed this list, 95 percent put father and mother as the first two. Three out of the first four names on most lists are close relatives. The two most overlooked people for these lists are God and you. God doesn’t need to be forgiven, but we sometimes hold false expectations of God that lead us to anger or bitterness toward Him. We also need to forgive ourselves for weaknesses and sins that God has long since forgiven.
2. Face the hurt and hate. Write down how you feel about these people and their offenses. Remember, it is not a sin to admit the reality of your emotions. God knows exactly how you feel, whether you admit it or not. If you bury your feelings, you will bypass the possibility of forgiveness. You must forgive from you heart.
3. Realize that the cross of Christ makes forgiveness possible, fair and right. Jesus took upon Himself all the sins of the world - including yours and those of the persons who have offended you, and He died “once for all” (Hebrews 10:10).
4. Decide that you will bear the burden of each person’s sin (see Galatians 6:1, 2). This means that in the future you will not strike back at the person by using the information about his sin against him (see Proverbs 17:9; Luke 6:27-34). We are to take the burden of offenses against us just as Christ took the burden of our sins.
5. Let the other person off the hook and free yourself from the past. You may not feel like making this decision. But since God tells you to, you can choose to forgive. The other person may truly be in the wrong and in need of discipline or correction, but that is not your primary concern. You will gain your freedom by forgiving. If you don’t forgive, you will be bound to that person.
6. Take your list to God and pray the following; “I forgive (name) for (list the offenses).” Let God bring to the surface every remembered pain. Stay with that person until every rejection, injustice, abuse, betrayal or period of neglect is specifically identified. Then go on to the next person. If you have felt bitter toward this person for some time, you may want to find a Christian counselor or trusted friend who will pray with you about it (see James 5:16).
7. Destroy the list. You are now free. Do not tell the offenders what you have done. Your forgiveness is between you and God only! The person you may need to forgive could be dead, such as a grandparent who abused you. It doesn’t matter. You still need to forgive.
8. Do not expect that your decision to forgive will result in major changes in the other persons. Instead, pray for them (see Matthew 5:44) so they too may find the freedom of forgiveness (see Galatians 5:1, 13, 14).
9. Try to understand the people you have forgiven. They are victims also.
10. Expect positive result of forgiveness in you. In time you will be able to think about the people who offended you without feeling hurt, anger or resentment. In many cases your forgiveness may result in your relationship being restored. In some cases this may not happen if they don’t want the relationship restored.
11. Thank God for the lessons you have learned and the maturity you have gained as a result of your decision to forgive the offenders (see Romans 8:28, 29).
12. Be sure to accept your part of the blame. Confess your failure to God and to others (see I John 1:9). Realize that if someone has something against you, you must go to the person (see Matthew 5:23-26).
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PRAYER OF FORGIVENESS AND REPENTANCE
NOTE: Any sin, unforgiveness, fear or guilt will undermine your faith to receive God’s provisions and blessings.
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PRAY ALOUD:
“My Heavenly Father, I acknowledge any unforgiveness as sin. I exercise my free will and choose to obey your commandment regarding forgiveness. I am willing to forgive everyone who has sinned against me or hurt me in anyway. I receive Your supernatural power to forgive. Now, in the Name of Jesus, I do forgive_____________.”
Deliberately name them one-by-one -- releasing each person to God. If you can’t remember names, hold their faces before you, and say, “I forgive ______and ______ in the Name of Jesus. Father, I release them all to you -- the incidents of hurt, my painful memories, and the persons involved -- I give all of them into your care; I receive Your healing in my memories, in Jesus’ Mighty Name. Father, if I ever felt resentful for my sufferings, though I know you did nothing wrong, I forgive You God, in Jesus’ Name.”
“My Heavenly Father, I acknowledge my fear (worry, anxiety) as the sin of idolatry because I allowed the object of my fear to be greater than You. I ask Your forgiveness, in the Name of Jesus. I receive Your forgiveness and I now forgive myself. I command you spirit of fear (worry, anxiety) to get out of my life, in the Name of Jesus.
“Father, I also repent of all my sins of commission, omission, any ungodly deeds, attitudes and relationships (take time to name them). I receive Your forgiveness and now I forgive myself, in Jesus’ Name. I thank You, Father, You have erased (blotted out - Col. 2:14 and Isa. 43:25) all of my sin record from Your Book of Remembrance, by the precious Blood of Jesus.”
(Meditate on this truth).
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